Sunday, April 8, 2012

Why Cats Are Finicky Eaters

I said "Open the Door -- NOW!"

Do you know why cats are finicky? Do you know why they turn their noses up at expensive cat foods with catchy names? Because those foods are there to please people, not cats!
We like to think our cats are civilized enough to want the same food as their humans. But the truth about cats is that they are actually wild animals that only allow us to think they are domesticated.
Do cats really want Grilled Tuna in a Savory Sauce? They would rather have raw tuna. Really, have you ever seen a feral cat sitting in an alley grilling his tuna steak, lightly seasoning it with herbes de provence? How about Cheddar and Chicken Medley or Saut̩ed Beef Steak? Come on! Have you ever seen a cat take down a cow? Neko has never liked beef cat food. He likes raw hamburger. But raw hamburger would not be a good canned cat food. No one would buy it but would instead head to the meat aisle for Рyou guessed it Рraw hamburger.

Let me out! I want some Hummingbird Hummus.

So I think a new business venture would be a line of cat food called Finicky Feasts, geared toward cats not people. Notice canned or dried cat food don’t really contain the foods that cats really like. After all, who would buy a can of mouse or bird? So we would have to start a marketing gimmick of silly cute names because cats have no sense of irony anyway.

Now imagine you and your cat going down the aisles of PetsMart selecting Plump Pigeon Pate’, Spicy Sparrow Stoganoff, and Vole au Gratin. And don't forget the appetizers -- Marinated Mousey-Tongue and Hummingbird Hummus, and for dessert, Chipmunk cookies with Minty Moths Treats to freshen that kitty breath.

I talked this over with Neko. He said it's a go.


  1. Don't forget Fly foie gras. Also don't forget what neko really likes....ankle au jus, hand hamburgers, finger foods (that one speaks for itself), and of course elbow macaroni (I ain't talkin' about the pasta). We all know what he is really after.........