Beware the Footfalls in the Middle of the Night

You are heavily in sleep, maybe even dreaming about a beautiful place -- a yarn store? a book store? You are suddenly drawn out of that blissful state of sleep by one of the most dreaded sounds for a cat owner. Haack! Haack! Haack! Awwwwwwwk!

You know what happened. It's probably on the carpet -- or in the clean laundry basket -- or the afghan that drifted to the floor in the middle of the night.  The hair ball. You know you should get up and look for it. You are hoping that your spouse heard it too and maybe he'll get up to look for it.  Of course, he is laying there awake as well, hoping you will get up instead.

You want to go back to sleep, but then you realize you have to go to the bathroom. Once you're up, it's over. It becomes your responsibility to locate and clean up the hair ball.  Even if you don't do it now, it becomes your duty in the morning.  He will say, "Why didn't you clean it up when you got up last night." It doesn't work to say, "Ah ha! You were awake!" <<Insert domestic responsibility argument here.>>

So you get out of bed to head to the bathroom when your bare feet steps on something warm and slimy. That's it.  All sense of peace and well-being is gone. Your gross-out factor has been raised to the nth degree and you might just throw up a hairball yourself. You hop to the sink -- which in the dark is quite a feat -- to wash the goop between your toes, gagging the entire time. Still, your spouse sleeps, or pretends to sleep.  I think he might even be laughing.

As you are washing your foot in the cold water (because you can't wait until the hot water comes), a fluffy tail ribs against your other leg.  The soft and gentle meow comes from the black ball reminding you that he is hungry, and after all, you are up, and since he threw up, he now has room in his tummy for more food.

Now I'm wide awake and will never get back to sleep. My foot is cold and wet and there is still a mess on the carpet. My cat is trying to be cute and adorable so I will feed him. My spouse is laughing while pretending he is still asleep. I think the cat is laughing too.

It's a good thing Neko is so cute. My spouse -- not so much.